The link at the bottom of my writing today is a story I saved and posted on Facebook 2 years ago. Besides the feeling of connection to this story and it’s author, I was ushered back to my childhood where I was also locked outside while my mother and her motherhood twin (aka best friend) drank Tab and did whatever it was that brought them sanity so that they could love and teach us life lessons without unleashing the Kraken.
Damn, they were good at it. It wasn’t until my mothers passing 7 years ago, after 16 years of marriage and 40 years of life, did I start tying their past to my own. The loss of my mother is another story. I will share that when the need in me arises. I may even write of my own memories of Tab and outdoor life of a child in the street. Most likely it will be about bread and kneading dough. For now I want to share my moment. The overwhelming calm that grounds me, right now, not every moment, but right now.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in where we are going next! Whether it be the grocery store, the gas station, work, kids games, dads house, home to clean, home to cook, home to sleep. It is easy to focus on where we are supposed to be. It is so easy to focus on what else we won’t get finished today. I really try not to practice these things, but they happen sometimes. I know what has to be done, do I really need to rehash it in my mind as I am doing it? Hell no. I have been doing it for years, I got this!
Instead of hashing it out, I try to focus on the things around me. I never know if there is something right here, right now that I don’t want to miss! Like yesterday, I was driving from work to the grocery store, then off to the coffee shop to write and work on my website, which I totally messed up by the way. Thanks to WordPress Concierge service, they helped me get it back on track, cause damn, that sucked. So back to my day….
I was at an intersection (red light), my truck window was down, but the others were rolled up. I was listening to the radio as I turned to look out my passenger window I could see little hands waving and fist bumping the air. I rolled down my window and turned down my radio, I had to know what she was dancing to! She looked at me and I waved, she stopped for a moment but when I started singing along Crank That by Soulja Boy with her, she got a gigantic smile on her face and really went crazy in her car seat! Her mom was in the front seat singing quietly and boogieing down, she looks back at her daughter and asks ” What the?” Then she looked at me and stopped and then apologized. I started laughing and sang louder looking at her daughter and then her mom joined back in and as the light turned green, I yelled out to them, thanking them for sharing and to keep singing! It was so great, for just that moment, to be nowhere but in the moment. Besides the fact that the girl had some major rhythm, she had no idea that by just being herself and living in her moment she brought me right back to mine. I don’t even know if I can express how much that moment did for me. Just a moment. A reminder that at any moment on any day, we can get into our moment and maybe, just maybe we can remind those around us to do the same.
Or maybe it’s a quieter moment, maybe alone, maybe with my son. Maybe that moment is just looking at the wind gently move his hair across his forehead, his bright blue eyes shining as he smiles when he looks up and catches me staring. It is like time stopped. Nothing else around, nothing else to do, nothing could take my attention from the feeling I could feel, the sun glistening, the breeze moving gently across my skin, his freckles, his sophisticated movements, he is such a cool cat. Seriously, a 13 year old boy, sharing his moments, so blessed am I.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, sorry, I got lost in this moment. There is so much emotion tied to moments. If we look back at our memories, could you nail down which moments meant the most? Of course you can. It’s these moments that records the emotion. If you expand the memory you may be able to span out and see what was going on around you; maybe your siblings were fighting, maybe dad was yelling at mom to bring him the screwdriver, maybe your feet hurt from standing all day, maybe you can remember the smell of dinner cooking; but if you come back to the moment, you can FEEL the emotion of that moment and you being in it. Your focus is on how you are now blushing and you feel that butterfly in your chest, you feel that moment. You don’t feel the surrounding activities, you don’t remember details of what else was going on, as least not realistically, but you can stop time again by seeing even the tiniest detail that had stopped time. those details, those little recollections bring on the feeling and emotion of that moment and you relive it, exactly as it was for you then.
I could get into all of the details as to why witnesses at a crime all have different stories as to what happened, why a couple has different memories of the same christmas party, why your son has a different recollection of that special birthday party than you do. But, again, maybe I should save that for another day. It has to do with the fact, that all of these different stories are true, they all happened. It’s recorded in the brain, it says so. The chemical reaction that occurs when the moment happens makes that the most important detail of the memory and everything else in the background is subject to perspective.
So , why is it so important to live in the moment? Because it’s that chemical and heartfelt, emotion that becomes apart of you. Those moments define how we look at everything around us every day. It’s the reason we either judge other people or embrace the fact that their moments have defined them, and as different as we might be from another, we are designed to record moments. We just don’t know what moments others have had, is it really that hard to understand and accept another and their Tab and locked door story? For some it is, but I believe that the more I live in as many moments as I can, the more accepting I am of others and their moments. A respect so to speak. A respect of their person and their moments, not because we have the same memories, but because I know what they feel like. As I look back to the moments when my mom and her best friend were drinking Tab and locking us outside, I actually remember so many memories! I never cared that mom wasn’t around every second telling me not to get dirty and such. I remember sunny afternoons doing somersaults in the grass and breathing deep the scent of soil and flowers, running in the rain barefoot on warm sidewalks, the steam rising, being so grateful for the cooling of the air on a hot summers day, floating plastic utensils down the overflowing gutters ( my knife racing against my friends fork), Those were the moments that, to this day, are such an intense reminder to live in this moment, now.
Can you tell me a moment that evokes a feeling and emotion? Is there one or 200 that stir your soul. If you would like to share, please…DO!
So today, let’s Crank That…..
If you have spotify, you can do it right now…!
This link is the Tab and Locked doors story that I saved 2 years ago. Do you connect with something here?