Death becomes me. When I’m confused about the dark side that emerges to lash out at myself or others….I write. I write in tongues so to speak. I write in convoluted terms, because it touches so many sparks that can help me emege from the illusion of what I am and what is to be.
Are you familiar with the 5 divine acts of Shiva?
If you feel inspired, new ideas blooming, body feeling renewed, heart exploding with love (or hate, self doubt, don’t forget not everything we create is beautiful): you are in CREATE.
Working Hard to sustain, feeding what you have created, nurturing and fertilizing the creation so that it can be as big as the universe, wither feeding something beautiful or retched, it grows and becomes it’s true nature: PRESERVE
Worn out or desperate, the knowing, the destruction of what we have created, falling deep into the earth and fading away, can be a sense of relief that is in the form of pain: DEATH
Jealous, judging, blinded, hidden, turning in, hiding the true intentions of what has died because it can no longer come back, denial starts to take nutrients from what as fallen before, the time when we have to decide what is worthy of holding onto as the new cycle begins and what to let go of. Creation of the new seed maybe?: ILLUSION
At peace or undisturbed, poisons from the previous cycle begin to leach away and nutrients from death and decay begin to take on their true form, comfort in the rest, expansion from the hidden place because there is no other way, resignation, acceptance and appreciation, third eye begins to see the truest vision, this hurts: RELEASE OR STATE OF GRACE
Wouldn’t it be great to be stuck in what appears as the nicer acts of this cycle?
What do you think of with each of these phases. Do you fight to stay in one phase or think you can quickly escape it? Or do you falsely feel that you are in one phase more than the others. True grace turning to creation, we cannot stop. We can delay the advancements but as soon as we take the next breath, this is when we move forward. The irony. We can only delay the movement of the cycle by not understanding that we are there and that each action moves us forward even, even the act of delay moves us closer to the next motion. Every action has a reaction and they are all movement. Deny movement and you only take your choice of direction from the equation, not the movement towards the next phase. Do something to create with purpose or do nothing for fear of seeing what we created….both keep the gears moving….both continuing the cycle. So why try? Because with the death of one habit or experience, lies the tools and enlightened knowledge to take great care in what will be fed and sustained next.
The secret is moving with purpose, because the more cycles you move through with a goal, the better our soul leads us, the better our heart loves, and the more our eyes see.
If we continue to feed hate, jealousy, blindness, the stronger these become and the cycle continues, you definitely grow, you definitely learn, but what are you feeding, what are you reaping?
If you relate to all five acts simultaneously, it’s because you are most likely in all five at each moment of life. Remember, we are made of Mind, body, spirit and soul. They are all cycling at their own pace. Overlapping and repeating as each of our “selves” , learning and feeding something at each moment. This can seem daunting, I know. One can distract and affect the others and vice versa. So much going on.
Agrhhhh! Right? That release and finding grace moment. That’s what I watch for, I watch for that moment of acceptance, that moment of resignation to my feelings, my loss and my growth. I watch for the repeating nature of things, I choose to actively let go of what no longer serves me. I accept that things that I have attachments to also fall away in the tide. I watch for my ability to accept others and where they are more, I watch for the moments where judgment gives way for simple acceptance. No more do I feed the cycle of things I no longer want to plant and no longer miss the lesson from the death of it.
This is todays little rant, my little word fall that helps we unravel my illusion and begin anew. What am I no longer taking with me from the grave, what am I no longer feeding and growing. What can I let go of here. What can I create. What can I send into the universe. What can I work hard at today to ensure death becomes me.