Feeling crippled

The past always plays a part of our future. We can feel the emotion of every motivational quote that says to leave the past behind and move forward, but those words and pretty pictures will not change the fact that you have a past that makes up everything you are today.

It is true that we shouldn’t allow the past to define our future maybe, but the past is your biggest most formidable tool you have to shape the future, why would you not want to access the true power of that tool? If this tool is misused however, it can be the crippling tool that allows you only to live in the past and that can be so detrimental to your future. The past is not something that can be buried. Sometimes we think we can will it into submission or possibly forget it, sweep it under a rug or lock it up; but the truth is, we can not. It is the essence of what we are, it is the decisions we make, it is our judgment of others or even ourselves. It is the pathway in the brain that leads to every reaction we have to anything. The cool thing about the past is, it isn’t the future. IT is just a tool to wield our desires and successes of the future.

The past is a very strong building block. How can we use it to shore up the future? There is so much that we hang on to that we shouldn’t and so much that we should hang on to that we don’t. It is our fears of repeating mistakes and pride in our successes that weaken our ability to see clearly. Everyone has heard the saying that “the grass isn’t always greener”, or possibly ” everyone has struggles.” It is when we hear these words, we usually react in a manner of disbelief. This reaction is a selfish, self-defense thought. Are we to feel sorry for the man with no worries of money? Are we easily drawn to the conclusion that the “perfect family on the corner does not have pain or suffering?” Why, of course we do!

It is only natural, for our own sanity, to assume we have it worse and that no one knows how you feel about your defeats, your losses, your struggles. It is a chemical reaction in the brain that draws up the pain from past challenges. It is an animal instinct. Our brains are gentically designed to remember the emotion and sensation of everything we experience. These are the eletronic notes that we refer to the next time something makes us feel again. As a matter of fact, they are the reason you feel them again. They are the past memories and emotions, electronically etched into live tissue. They are ready at all times to react to pain, loss, dissapointment, sadness. But hey, they are also at the ready everytime we feel joy, surprise, happiness, pride, contentment, humility, comfort, pleasure and elation.

The question is now, why is it so easy to access sadness, dispair, anger, loss, disappoinment more so than joy and elation? Well, it’s because we more often access our emotion tied to embarresment. We don’t want others to know of our mistakes and bad choices, so we build a pathway in the brain directly to the negative sensation of dishonesty. Yep, I am calling hiding our past a dishonest act. It’s not the fact that we don’t share it with others, it’s the reality that we don’t share it with ourselves. We don’t appreciate every mistake and blunder that we’ve made for what it is…. we tuck it away in a corner, electronically live wired into a corner,ready to shed doubt on any thought that passes by. ZING!. We feel all the emotions tied to that thing from the past, sadness, shame, whatever it was. Then we dig that deeper hole and the electronic field, well it gets bigger, easier to come in connect with. Damn it!

Now realize, I’m speaking in fairly layman terms, I’m using words that evoke an emotion I would like to tie to this post. the technically anotomical and physiological description would drive us all to drinking, but in a SENSE, this works.

What emotion did you feel when I called us all dishonest? Did you get defensive? Did you feel like withdrawing or possibly feel aggresive? Did you agree with me and think to yourself that yes, you know people just like that? Did you feel shame? Whatever thought you had was derived from the corner you pack all your hidden past in. That is the nature of the brain. The coolest thing about all of this, is becoming cognizant of the reactions we have to what happens around us, the people around us! By being aware and then focusing on what brought on the emotion attached to it, we can then attach it to something from our past! THEN, if that isn’t exciting enough, we can look at what the past shows us and we can now start to appreciate the role it plays, the opportunity for growth it offers and we can consciously use it as a stepping stone for the future! This is very exciting! Just understanding that we can change the pathway and embrace our past to evolve into a better place and happier place in the future! Can we attach positive emotions to the things we have buried from our past? Yes! Embrace and love everything from the past, because it is these experiences that provide the foundation and powerful beauty that lies ahead.

Have a beautiful day and meet yourself with an open heart

Nikki

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